


Where's the toilet paper?

by Craftybadger1234



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 14:37:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12937386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Craftybadger1234/pseuds/Craftybadger1234
Summary: Harry's out of toilet paper and Hermione doesn't get why.This is utterly ridiculous and the result of reading one to many "cleaning charms" during smut. Rating is for a single swear word.





	Where's the toilet paper?

**Author's Note:**

> I fully realize Hermione is not an idiot, but I love it when she's slow to catch on.

“Harry, you're out of toilet paper again,” Hermione said as she came into the kitchen.

Harry looked up from the bag of take-out he was digging through. “Damn, not again. Still. Sorry, I'll put it on the list so I don't forget again.” 

“What do you mean still?” Hermione asked as she sat. With a laugh she said, “Surely you've needed the loo since the last time we were here.”

“Well, yeah, but… “ Harry trailed off with a blush.

“I mean, I know boys stand to pee but surely you've - “

“Hermione!” Ron interrupted. “That's enough, love.” He took the container Harry offered with an uneasy smile.

Hermione scowled. “Sorry, I just had to use a cleaning charm on my… sensitive area and so I'm curious about what Harry's been - “

“I'm pretty sure we don't want to know.” 

Harry nibbled at his lips, biting back a smile. “Things have gotten more serious with Draco is all.” 

“Oh,” she said brightly, “so you're spending more time over at his?” 

Harry blushed, “Er, not exactly…”

“Well then - “

“Please Hermione, I'm begging you!”

“But Harry - “

Harry sighed heavily, eyes on the ceiling. “Draco tops, Hermione.”

“What? Ew, why would you tell me that?”

Ron snorted. “Probably because you're asking about his bowel movements. Can we please change the subject now?”

“Sure,” Harry laughed. “Hermione can just follow it to its natural conclusion and guess who's on the business end of a modified evanesco.”

“Oh my fucking god Harry! Why are you talking about that! Ron, why didn't you stop me?”

Ron’s jaw dropped at her while Harry only asked, “So who's your pick for the world cup?”


End file.
